Aug 6 2008
Go to your room
Nathan is in a fulltime kindergarten program at a local charter school. After the first month, call it his honeymoon period, he started acting up. Not the usual stuff like goofing around or being talkative. Instead, he wasn't listening to Mrs. S's instructions to stop an activity or put something away. When called on it, he'd get so mad that he'd storm around the classroom with teeth and hands clenched, refusing to participate. The usual interventions -- putting him in the refocus chair for a time out bringing in another teacher -- didn't work.
One day Nathan threw his sneaker at Mrs. S and then hit her. It was so bad that Mr. A, the principal, was called in. He literally had to carry Nathan to his office when he refused to walk there. Then Mr. A called me to pick Nathan up from school.
He was sent home three times that month. Since I'm one of the founding board members of Nathan's school, I was beyond mortified. To see him becoming a major distraction in classroom and knowing how much extra work he caused for Mrs. S and the principal was extremely frustrating.
After the third time, Paul and I knew that talking to him about his behavior wasn't working. Instead, we decided to give Nathan the Smack Down Treatment. First, he got an extremely stern lecture from Paul. Then he was not allowed out of his room from Friday afternoon until Monday morning. No watching college football at Uncle Jimmy's house on Saturday. (Paul took Lucie instead.) No going to the Rockies baseball game on Sunday. (Paul went with friends from work.) No TV. No videos. No computer. Nathan could read books, practice his drawing and writing, and was only allowed to leave his room to eat and use the bathroom.
The first morning I caught him sneaking out several times. I went in and sat down with him to explain why we were doing this. Then I realized how much I'd love to stay in my room all weekend reading books and practicing my writing. In fact, I was trying to figure out some way to misbehave at a board meeting to get the Smack Down Treatment, too. Maybe I could throw my shoe at a fellow board member. Then I'd be locked away for a weekend of quiet, solitude, and no Nickelodeon watching. It's funny how adults love the things kids think are punishment.
(Update: Nathan is doing much better. We realized that he needed glasses, more sleep, more food, more rewards for good behavior, and more consequences for bad. Nathan's behavioral grades went from 1s and 2s on his first report card to 3s and 4s on his next one. Mr. A even called Paul at work to congratulate us for turning Nathan around.)